"I don't want to over-dramatize the situation, but there were two or three minutes when I thought I was going to be in Guantanamo Bay with the Abu Ghraib people holding a thumbs up while pointing to my penis. I wasn't really scared about Guantanamo, I just didn't want people to see my penis. I'm a very private person." - Brian Teasley

Brian Teasley is the current percussionist for the The Polyphonic Spree. He has gained a reputation for his stunts during live concerts.

It's also a little-known fact that Teasley is not human. In reality, Teasley is, in fact, an alien named Birdstuff, who crash-landed on Earth in the early 1990s. His native people are an inventive lot, having devised methods of intergalactic space travel from their home planet. While we on Earth must admit that his civilization is highly intelligent, in the realm of galactic civilizations, his people are infamous for being rather unintelligent. Case in point: as they have the capability to devise space travel from their home planet, they have yet to invent or discover technology that would make them capable of developing intergalactic space travel back to their home.

At one time, Brian joined "man or astroman" and shared his musical talents. One his way home from Dallas, he was falsely accused of smuggling terrorist parapenhalia (turned out to be a microphone). Ask Teasley for more details on this fiasco.